paz

estar

creo que por primera vez en la vida ESTOY.
ESTOY en el momento.
ESTOY disfrutando cada cosita que pasa sin pensar en por qué o cuándo o cómo
o en el antes o el después.
ESTOY presente.

laryngitis

(whispering has never been so good)

hago un anuncio público

para dar

GRACIAS

por las cosas buenas que tengo

y que siguen llegando a mi vida

jarrito de la felicidad

pide y se os dará

Hace poco leí esto:
"Clearly Jeanne desperately wants her husband to say “I love you” at times, yet she forces herself not to ask. She therefore pushes herself further into self-doubt, by forbidding herself to ask for what she wants.
This self-denial is a result of shame, an emotion closely connected to deservedness. You need to realize that asking to be loved is not only not shameful, it’s exactly what one should do to get love. Shame tells us that love is a small, precious commodity that we have to beg for. But love is abundant, and asking for it only reflects that you already perceive it to be yours."
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/love-shame-and-self-worth.html

Y ES TAN CIERTO!
tan cierto que repito esas palabras:

You need to realise that asking to be loved is not only not shameful,

it is exactly what one should do to get love.

Porque es un poco aceptar que no lo podemos todo y que estamos unidos al mundo y que el amor -manifestado en ayuda o en unas palabras de aliento o en algún detalle lindo- en lugar de acabarse, se multiplica y se engrandece :)

have I gone mad?

I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret:

All the best people are.

the best compliment I have ever received

no te calles. no te calles nunca, por favor.

la vida es bella

estoy feliz

on habit

habit: A settled disposition or tendency to act in a certain way, esp. one acquired by frequent repetition of the same act until it becomes almost or quite involuntary; a settled practice, custom, usage; a customary way or manner of acting. (OED)

sweet-punch. sweet-punch. sweet-punch. clear. repeat. sweet-punch. sweet-punch. clear. repeat. sweet-punch. sweet-punch. oh-sweeter-than-ever-punch. sweetish-punch. sweet-punch. sweet-punch...
this habit has left me tired, confused, and wary.

(no cabe duda que es verdad que la costumbre...)

fortran

F8.2 3F3.0 125 F8.2 F3.2 (sigh) 2F8.2

http://xkcd.com/379/

oh my silly heart

A while ago (http://resulta.blogspot.com/2008/08/open-return.html) I bought my heart an open-return ticket and told him to go for a wander around the world.
Poor thing, he just got back, all wounded and trashed my poor silly heart. He spent a few months in a great amazing adventure; he said he got robbed and stabbed a couple of times; and that he met lots of people and learned lots of life lessons.
My poor silly heart, welcome back.
I will make a nice cup of tea for you. The bubble bath is ready. And look! there is a nice comfy bed with clean sheets and a warm duvet, just for you.
My poor silly heart,
welcome home.

pongamos que hablo de Monterrey

las niñas ya no quieren ser princesas
y a los niños les da por perseguir el mar dentro de un vaso de ginebra.
Los pájaros visitan al psiquiatra,
las estrellas se olvidan de salir,
la muerte pasa en ambulancias blancas.
(y no hablemos de los disparos y las granadas y las mantas y la inseguridad y llevar a tus hijos al colegio con el corazón en la mano pensando que te pueden asaltar).
- Joaquín Sabina, Pongamos que Hablo de Madrid (adaptación)

the lion thinks

There is a phrase in Spanish (or at least that we use in Mexico) that I have never quite understood: "the lion thinks everyone is like him". It kinda expresses that people assume everyone behave or think on their terms. Or at least that is how I interpret it.

For me, that is the case, I act on the assumption that people act on my terms. I assume that people are honest. I assume that people want to be happy. I assume that people do not want to harm others and that if they do it is due to ignorance and they did not really mean to. I assume that people are good, that people are sincere, that people want the best for humankind and the planet.

During the last few months I have come to realise that maybe this is not the case (which is sad, really). Perhaps there are people out there who are mean (or, let´s say, harm others even if it was unintentional). There are people out there who steal your energy because they are just looking for an ego-boost and do not care if others´ feelings get damaged along the way. They play a Pushey-Pulley Game (http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/dating-games-the-pushey-pulley-game/) for whatever reasons without looking at their (intended or unintended) consequences. Without reaching out there and actually looking.

Oh well,

I don´t know.

The truth is that lately I no longer feel like a lion;
I feel like a wet muddy cat that has been wandering around rainy roads for a while.

And even so,
I know
that I did my best,
that I gave my best,
that I was honest,
(and even if that is the only consolation that this soaked kitten has)

que el león piensa que todos son de su condición.

l´infatuation pathétique

when will the limerence go?

.

.

.

.

.

(sigh)

oh, memories

today I was waiting for order in my fav-burger place in Oxford, when Simply Red started... yes I love the thought of coming home to you, even if I know we can´t make it.

too intimate

Too intimate: When we live on too intimate terms with a person it is as if we were again and again handling a good engraving with our fingers; the time comes when we have soiled and damaged paper in our hands, and nothing more. A man’s soul also gets worn out by constant handling; at least it eventually appears so to us, never again do we see its original design and beauty. [Human, All too human, Nietzsche]