jarrito de la felicidad

pide y se os dará

Hace poco leí esto:
"Clearly Jeanne desperately wants her husband to say “I love you” at times, yet she forces herself not to ask. She therefore pushes herself further into self-doubt, by forbidding herself to ask for what she wants.
This self-denial is a result of shame, an emotion closely connected to deservedness. You need to realize that asking to be loved is not only not shameful, it’s exactly what one should do to get love. Shame tells us that love is a small, precious commodity that we have to beg for. But love is abundant, and asking for it only reflects that you already perceive it to be yours."
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/love-shame-and-self-worth.html

Y ES TAN CIERTO!
tan cierto que repito esas palabras:

You need to realise that asking to be loved is not only not shameful,

it is exactly what one should do to get love.

Porque es un poco aceptar que no lo podemos todo y que estamos unidos al mundo y que el amor -manifestado en ayuda o en unas palabras de aliento o en algún detalle lindo- en lugar de acabarse, se multiplica y se engrandece :)

have I gone mad?

I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret:

All the best people are.

the best compliment I have ever received

no te calles. no te calles nunca, por favor.

la vida es bella

estoy feliz

on habit

habit: A settled disposition or tendency to act in a certain way, esp. one acquired by frequent repetition of the same act until it becomes almost or quite involuntary; a settled practice, custom, usage; a customary way or manner of acting. (OED)

sweet-punch. sweet-punch. sweet-punch. clear. repeat. sweet-punch. sweet-punch. clear. repeat. sweet-punch. sweet-punch. oh-sweeter-than-ever-punch. sweetish-punch. sweet-punch. sweet-punch...
this habit has left me tired, confused, and wary.

(no cabe duda que es verdad que la costumbre...)

fortran

F8.2 3F3.0 125 F8.2 F3.2 (sigh) 2F8.2

http://xkcd.com/379/

oh my silly heart

A while ago (http://resulta.blogspot.com/2008/08/open-return.html) I bought my heart an open-return ticket and told him to go for a wander around the world.
Poor thing, he just got back, all wounded and trashed my poor silly heart. He spent a few months in a great amazing adventure; he said he got robbed and stabbed a couple of times; and that he met lots of people and learned lots of life lessons.
My poor silly heart, welcome back.
I will make a nice cup of tea for you. The bubble bath is ready. And look! there is a nice comfy bed with clean sheets and a warm duvet, just for you.
My poor silly heart,
welcome home.

pongamos que hablo de Monterrey

las niñas ya no quieren ser princesas
y a los niños les da por perseguir el mar dentro de un vaso de ginebra.
Los pájaros visitan al psiquiatra,
las estrellas se olvidan de salir,
la muerte pasa en ambulancias blancas.
(y no hablemos de los disparos y las granadas y las mantas y la inseguridad y llevar a tus hijos al colegio con el corazón en la mano pensando que te pueden asaltar).
- Joaquín Sabina, Pongamos que Hablo de Madrid (adaptación)

the lion thinks

There is a phrase in Spanish (or at least that we use in Mexico) that I have never quite understood: "the lion thinks everyone is like him". It kinda expresses that people assume everyone behave or think on their terms. Or at least that is how I interpret it.

For me, that is the case, I act on the assumption that people act on my terms. I assume that people are honest. I assume that people want to be happy. I assume that people do not want to harm others and that if they do it is due to ignorance and they did not really mean to. I assume that people are good, that people are sincere, that people want the best for humankind and the planet.

During the last few months I have come to realise that maybe this is not the case (which is sad, really). Perhaps there are people out there who are mean (or, let´s say, harm others even if it was unintentional). There are people out there who steal your energy because they are just looking for an ego-boost and do not care if others´ feelings get damaged along the way. They play a Pushey-Pulley Game (http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/dating-games-the-pushey-pulley-game/) for whatever reasons without looking at their (intended or unintended) consequences. Without reaching out there and actually looking.

Oh well,

I don´t know.

The truth is that lately I no longer feel like a lion;
I feel like a wet muddy cat that has been wandering around rainy roads for a while.

And even so,
I know
that I did my best,
that I gave my best,
that I was honest,
(and even if that is the only consolation that this soaked kitten has)

que el león piensa que todos son de su condición.

l´infatuation pathétique

when will the limerence go?

.

.

.

.

.

(sigh)

oh, memories

today I was waiting for order in my fav-burger place in Oxford, when Simply Red started... yes I love the thought of coming home to you, even if I know we can´t make it.

too intimate

Too intimate: When we live on too intimate terms with a person it is as if we were again and again handling a good engraving with our fingers; the time comes when we have soiled and damaged paper in our hands, and nothing more. A man’s soul also gets worn out by constant handling; at least it eventually appears so to us, never again do we see its original design and beauty. [Human, All too human, Nietzsche]

and still,

I wish you well.

A well (or not so well)-known story to share. This is an extract from Ed and Deb Shapiro´s blog:

One day a frog was sitting happily by the side of the river when a scorpion came along.
“Oh Mr. Frog,” said the scorpion, “I need to get to the other side of the river to be with my family. Will you please carry me across?”
“But Mr. Scorpion, if I do that, then you will sting me!” replied the frog, somewhat aghast at the request.
“No, I won’t,” said the scorpion.
“Do you promise?” asked a rather doubtful frog.
“I really promise! I will not sting you,” said the scorpion.
“Do you really, really promise?” asked a still-dubious frog.
“Yes, I really promise,” replied the scorpion, very sincerely.
“Okay,” the frog said reluctantly. “Hop on.”

The scorpion climbed on top of the frog’s back and they set off. Halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog. In horror, the frog, unable to continue swimming and with both of them about to drown, finally managed to gasp, “Please, Mr. Scorpion, just tell me one thing before we both go under. Just tell me why, when you promised you would not, why oh why did you sting me?”
“Because it is my nature,” replied the scorpion.

(But the story does not stop there; Ed and Deb continue...)

"We can transform the self-centered aspect of our nature by opening our hearts and awakening to other-centeredness. Then we have the choice to be able to offer generosity in place of selfishness, kindness in place of malice, and harmlessness in place of harm. To illustrate this, here is the end of the story:
Two monks were washing their bowls in the river when they noticed a scorpion that was drowning. One monk immediately scooped it up and set it upon the bank. In the process, he was stung. He went back to washing his bowl, and again the scorpion fell in the river. The monk saved the scorpion and was again stung.
The other monk asked him, “Friend, why do you continue to save the scorpion when you know its nature is to sting?”
“Because,” the first monk replied, “my nature is to save.”
So, what is your nature? Are you a frog, a scorpion or a monk?"

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/what-is-your-nature-are-you-a-frog-a-scorpion-or-a-monk.html?&page=2

here I am

here I am, this is me.

facing the world,

welcoming life.

life is great!

when you have the wonderful support from your family and friends!

bop bags

I love them, because no matter how hard you hit them, they always bounce back and stand up.

I wanna be a bop bag.

the bill

you never know for who you may be working for

.... or whose bill for broken dishes you are paying.

my message to the world

LOVING IS NEVER WRONG
To care, to love, to show affection
IS NEVER WRONG.
To take care of the ones you love
IS NEVER WRONG.
To open up your heart, to be sincere, to be honest
IS NEVER WRONG.
When intentions are pure,
when feelings are transparent,
it is not wrong.
Even if one gets damaged along the way,
it is not wrong.
Even if we cannot take responsibility for other people´s happiness or actions or decisions,
caring is never wrong.
Even if the feeling was not appreciated,
and if fears and anxieties clouded it,
one should NEVER TAKE THE BLAME FOR LOVING.
Because love has the great power of healing,
of bonding,
of surviving,
of providing a ray of hope.

dead end

if I get closer, I hurt you.
if I distance myself, I hurt you.
if I say or do, I hurt you.
if I don´t say and don´t do, I hurt you.

it seems like the only reasonable solution I have got,

obviously is,

I guess,

to be abducted by aliens.

how does it feel?

to know that I was the last one to remain standing by you?

http://xkcd.com/383/

there was no need

for things to get this bloody.

se me va el tren

esta es mi parada, me bajo y dejo que se vaya...

se vende barato

unos ojos cabizbajos

un alma solitaria

un corazón disecado

unos sueños rotos

y un orgullo pisoteado.

¿alguien se anima?

karma piggybank

I like to think that I have a deal with karma laws,

so that the punches I receive will pay off later in life,

or will manifest in some other issue,

or even benefit someone else,

or perhaps help a flower to bloom.

Oddly enough,

I am happy to take the punches,

it keeps the universe in balance,

and it keeps my soul at ease.

(C) LJVM

sneaker

this is another word I love: sneakers

(C) LJVM

happy valentine´s

God´s mysterious ways

I just found this. It is just what I needed.

Many years ago in a poor Chinese village, there lived a peasant with his son. His only material possession, apart from some land and a small straw hut, was a horse he had inherited from his father.One day, the horse ran off, leaving the man with no animal with which to till the land. His neighbors – who respected him greatly for his honesty and diligence – came to his house to say how much they regretted what had happened. He thanked them for their visit, but asked:- How can you know that what has happened has been a misfortune in my life? Someone mumbled to a friend: “he can’t accept reality, let him think what he wants, as long as he isn’t saddened by what happened.”

And the neighbors went off, pretending to agree with what they had heard.

A week later, the horse returned to the stable, but it was not alone; it brought with it a fine mare for company. Upon hearing this, the villagers – who were flustered since they now understood the answer the man had given them – returned to the peasant’s house, in order to congratulate him on his good fortune.- Before you had only one horse, and now you have two.

Congratulations! – they said.- Many thanks for your visit and for all your concern – answered the peasant. – But how can you know that what has happened has been a blessing in my life?Disconcerted, and thinking he must be going mad, the neighbors went off, and on the way commented: “does he really not understand that God has sent him a gift?”

A month later, the peasant’s son decided to tame the mare. But the animal unexpectedly reared up and the boy fell and broke his leg.The neighbors returned to the peasant’s house – bringing gifts for the wounded boy. The mayor of the village offered his condolences to the father, saying that all were very sad at what had happened.The man thanked them for their visit and their concern, but asked:- How can you know that what has happened has been a misfortune in my life?They were all astonished to hear this, since no one could be in any doubt that the accident of a son was a real tragedy.

As they left the peasant’s house, some said to others: “he really has gone mad; his only son might limp forever, and he is still in doubt about whether what happened is a misfortune.”

Some months passed, and Japan declared war on China. The Emperor’s envoys traveled throughout the land in search for healthy young men to be sent to the battle front. Upon arrival in the village, they recruited all the young men except the peasant’s son, whose leg was broken.None of the young men returned alive. The son recovered, the two animals bred and their offspring were sold at a good price.

The peasant began visiting his neighbors to console and help them, – since they had at all times been so caring. Whenever one of them complained, the peasant said: “how do you know it is a misfortune?” If anyone become overjoyed, he asked: “how do you know it is a blessing?” And the men in that village understood that beyond appearances, life has other meanings.

caigo al abismo que el presente nos depara (otra vez)

El tiempo arrasa secuestrando mi pudor

cobro confianza y te dirijo unas palabras

caigo al abismo que el presente nos depara

y febril en la caída,

pregunto: ¿qué nos pasó?

es que me mata tu ausencia

y haberte querido tanto
porque el recuerdo no es real

no acepto más pasarla mal
estemos juntos otra vez.

Babasónicos, Mareo.

rollercoaster

it´s always lots of fun.

but I do feel sick after getting off.

someday

someday I will reach this point
http://xkcd.com/433/

all you need is love

"the brain is clever, the heart is wise; the brain is quick and knowledgeable, the heart is full of ancient love; (...) while a brain approach to life has little room for the heart, a heart approach necessarily includes and welcomes the brain: inclusion, union, is the heart´s job". Young, L. The Book of the Heart, p. 139.

standing still

...it is also knowing, that you can stand still come rain or shine, or wind and snow and darkness and solitude. and that you did your best. with your heart wide open.

que se lleve el diablo la razón

lo que ves es lo que hay,

lo que hay es lo que ves.

serás, seré.

verás, veré.

aquí estoy y aquí estaré.

(Miguel Bosé)

let it be

I just experienced magic:
walking down the street,
snowflakes started to make their appearance
and as I turned around the corner
I could hear a guy singinig
"let it be, let it be, let it be,...whisper words of wisdom, let it be"

the bucket list

a different way of seeing at things

poker

... and then, in the evening, I thought:

if love is like poker,

perhaps it is not too good to show

your cards too soon.

sand

I woke up this morning with a sudden thought:

love is like holding a bunch of sand in your hand:

the tighter you hold, the less you keep;

but if you leave it just there, resting,

it will stay.

tie me up! tie me down!

life and love are a complex thing

suavemente

no quiero soñar mil veces las mismas cosas ni contemplarlas sabiamente

quiero

que

me

trates

suavemente

(Soda Stereo)

perfect sequence of things

Thinking, the basic operation of the mind, organizes reality to make sense. The universe does this physically. It forms complex systems. DNA is one example, but genes didn’t create life simply by stringing simple molecules along a double helix. There are spaces between each genetic bit, and this sequencing is all-important.
An amoeba differs from a human being in the sequence of carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, and nitrogen along its genes, not in the atoms themselves. The fact that empty spaces, or gaps, between genetic material are so important brings us back to the void, where something is arranging random events so that they are meaningful.

Adapted from Life After Death: The Burden of Proof, by Deepak Chopra

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-void.html

simple things

I find pleasure in some simple things. These are a few:
- rubber bands.
- finding a button on the road.
- the smell of coffee coming through my nose when I am just about to take a sip.
- knowing that I memorise people´s car plates, phone numbers, birthdays, email addresses and other info that may freak people out if I let them know that I know them by heart.
- walking barefeet.
- feeling the edge of my bedsheets.
- pens, pencils, erasers, sharpeners, pretty paper, markers,... in sum, stationery.
- looking back at old diaries and remembering what I was doing exactly a year ago.
- feeling the texture of things.
- fabrics.
- putting mascara on my eyelashes.
- drawing the contour of things in my head.
- writing to-do lists and checking boxes when they are done, even if I had done them already.

after hours

odd and funny

let´s dance!

There may be trouble ahead

but while there's moonlight and music and love and romance

let's face the music and dance

Blue Eyes

not even jail

when personality is scarred tissue

(...)

give some meanings to the means to your end,

not even jail

Interpol

Donnie Brasco

punch of salt

his wicked sense of humour

Venus as a Boy

Björk

DPhil year 3

this DPhil is making me socially stupid.

and emotionally clumsy.

because it´s the correct thing to do

When the Wind Blows (1986)

(even if it does not save you)

thank you india

the moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down

but,
how about me enjoying a moment for a once?

Alanis Morissette, Thank You.

up in the air

¡no cabe duda que las cosas buenas mejoran con el tiempo!

avatar

"Don't thank. You don't thank for this! This is sad. Very sad only" -

Neytiri. Avatar.

soulmates

the sea´s evaporated though it comes as no surprise.
the clouds we´re seeing, they´re explosions in the sky.
it seems it´s written, but we can´t read between the lines.

soulmates never die

Placebo, Sleeping with Ghosts.

culture crash

oh! the consequences of living in England: We were asked if we wanted "biscuits" and I totally thought of cookies.

"What an odd thing" I thought. -

Tadah! American biscuits arrived instead.

2010

¿Qué es el Tiempo?
Guirnalda de recuerdos
de sueños
de anhelos
que se entrelazan con la vida,
te dejan su perfume
y se escapan con ella.
(hojita dominical templo santo niño de la salud)

Christmas

because it is a time for reflecting,

and forgiving,

and moving on.

Angel

the delights and sorrows of living in fantasy

lección de vida

NO VUELVO A DEJAR QUE NADIE SE APROVECHE DE MI

i wish

I wish time gives me the answers I need.
and it gives you whatever you want.

nada particular

vuelo herido y no se a dónde ir,

con la rabia cansada de andar.

Miguel Bosé- Nada Particular.

assertiveness

assertiveness: Tendency towards assertion or self-assertion.
self-assertion: insistence on a recognition of one's own rights or claims.
OED.

I am sorry, I need time to work on this.

monitor (2)

esperando respuesta veo que hoy tu ausencia llega nada más

las cosas deben de seguir

y no sabemos si será.

(Volován, Monitor)

come to the edge!

Come to the edge.
We might fall.
Come to the edge.
It’s too high!
COME TO THE EDGE!
And they came,
and he pushed,
and they flew.

Cristopher Logue.

el sitio de mi recreo

donde nos llevó la imaginación...

Miguel Bosé.

huevos

dicen que no hay que poner todos los huevos en la misma canasta. a mí no me importa, yo lo hago. toda la vida lo he hecho. y lo seguiré haciendo.

Maitia, nun zira?

Nik etzutut ikusten

Ez berririk jakiten

Nurat galdu zira?

Kepa Junkera.

what a beautiful song!